Letting go of myself.
i've lost the fight. i'd rather let go of myself than let go of us. alot of things i dont like, all with a reason. but i guess as long as you know your limits can le la. but obviously i hope, (and i hope you know) that stuff like this doesnt always happen, as in, stuff that makes both parties upset.you gave in alot to me, but that doesnt mean i never give in to you too. im giving in as well, so please dont take more and more. these nights i've been feeling down and as a result, i did this did that. i really feel like a fool. i dont even know why i'll do something like that. i dont even know who i am anymore. but all i know, is that i love you. no matter how tough, how hard the fight is, i wont give up. i would rather die trying than not try at all. i hope you see how much you mean to me.and you know that i nag cause i care. alot of times you always say that even your parents dont nag or say anything, so why should i? after all, im just your boyf right? yeah, i know i am, but i want the best for you. like what i say, knowing full well what kind of guy i used to be, and how i fucking take advantage of girls, that's why i dont like you to talk or meet or be surrounded by guys.and it's all because i know about what happened to you last time all, that's why im worried.i really dont want your history to repeat itself.i know you wont, you'll know how to think, but those guys, they dont give a fuck. you know it too. mmm, if your parents knew about all those things that happened to you last time, do you think they wont say anything each time you go out all? just a thought luh.unless you tell me they know la, then i have nth to say. and like, the saiful thing,if you never entertain and continue talking with him, would that have happened? you know he wanted to hong you, you know he got girlf already,and the result? you know that at least you still got people want, that's why you she de to dont want me. You and this relationship really means the whole world to me. i feel so lost without you by my side. without your laughter, your hugs and kisses all. sad to say, i've fallen so much for you that whenever you say break, my whole world just crumbles. and i cry and beg like a dog. yeah, i love you luh. i really do. i really dont wanna quarrel with you anymore. i just want to be happy with you, everyday. for all the days of our lives.
dont say that im making myself so xinku, its not. its only xinku without you, trust me. yeah sure, we've had many ups and downs. but you cant deny that our smiles after all those shit aint real. we really do share tears,joy,laughter and everything together. love is not about who's suited for who. nobody is 100% suited for another person. love is about the bond between two strangers. that bond makes them into who they are, who we are. 7 months ago, would you be willing to cook mac and cheese for a stranger called Angus Teo? you wouldn't. would i be willing to cry and cry and buy flowers for a stranger called Eileen Tan? why would i?this is what i mean, we've gone through so much together that its impossible to feel as if we're strangers. even though it only seems like yesterday that we just met, i love you.
